Proverbs 25:9 kjv
Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another:
Proverbs 25:9 nkjv
Debate your case with your neighbor, And do not disclose the secret to another;
Proverbs 25:9 niv
If you take your neighbor to court, do not betray another's confidence,
Proverbs 25:9 esv
Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret,
Proverbs 25:9 nlt
When arguing with your neighbor,
don't betray another person's secret.
Proverbs 25 9 Cross References
| Verse | Text | Reference |
|---|---|---|
| Matt 5:23-24 | "...if you are offering your gift... and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift... go and be reconciled to him..." | Settle disputes directly before other matters. |
| Matt 18:15 | "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone..." | Address personal offenses privately. |
| Lev 19:16 | "You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people..." | Avoid gossip and spreading ill reports. |
| Lev 19:18 | "...you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD." | Principle of loving others, guiding conduct. |
| Prov 11:13 | "A slanderer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered." | The danger of gossip vs. trustworthiness. |
| Prov 20:19 | "Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler." | Warns against associating with gossipers. |
| Prov 17:9 | "Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends." | Covering a wrong promotes love; repeating breaks bonds. |
| Prov 26:20 | "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." | Without gossip, conflicts die down. |
| Eccl 7:21 | "Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you." | Not every secret or private word should be widely known. |
| James 1:19 | "...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;" | Prudence in speech and communication. |
| Eph 4:29 | "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up..." | Words should be edifying, not destructive. |
| Rom 12:18 | "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." | Seek peace in relationships. |
| 1 Cor 6:1-8 | Addressing lawsuits among believers, urging private resolution over public courts. | Disputes should be resolved within the community. |
| Col 3:12-13 | "...bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other..." | Emphasizes patience, bearing, and forgiveness. |
| Phil 2:3 | "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." | Humility in resolving disputes. |
| Titus 3:2 | "to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, to show perfect courtesy toward all people." | General instruction for gracious speech and conduct. |
| 1 Pet 4:8 | "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." | Love prompts discreet handling of others' faults. |
| Gen 9:20-27 | Noah's sons Shem and Japheth cover their father's nakedness, contrasted with Ham. | Shows the honor in covering a parent's shame, an analogy for covering a neighbor's. |
| Prov 22:11 | "He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips, the king will be his friend." | Value of gracious speech. |
| Prov 28:13 | "Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy." | For the offender, confession is key; for others, discretion. |
| Lk 6:31 | "And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them." | The Golden Rule applied to how one handles disputes. |
| 1 Thess 4:11 | "...to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands..." | Emphasizes a peaceful, non-interfering lifestyle. |
Proverbs 25 verses
Proverbs 25 9 Meaning
Proverbs 25:9 teaches discretion and wisdom in handling disputes and private matters. It instructs individuals to directly address conflicts with their neighbor, maintaining privacy between the involved parties. Simultaneously, it warns against publicizing personal grievances or betraying confidential information, especially that which may be learned about the neighbor during the dispute. This approach promotes direct communication, reconciliation, and the preservation of reputations, preventing unnecessary shame or further discord.
Proverbs 25 9 Context
Proverbs 25:9 is part of a collection of Solomonic proverbs, specifically "copied by the men of Hezekiah King of Judah" (Prov 25:1). This section of Proverbs (chapters 25-29) often deals with social etiquette, statecraft, the conduct of rulers, and personal relationships, reflecting the accumulated wisdom of the nation. Verses 8-10 are tightly interconnected. Verse 8 warns against hasty accusations or rashly engaging in lawsuits, advising against public shame. Verse 9 then presents the correct, wise alternative: a direct, private resolution with the offended party. Verse 10 reinforces this by explaining the negative consequences—lasting shame—of betraying confidence or spreading private information gathered during such a dispute, connecting the entire thought unit about conflict resolution and discretion.
Proverbs 25 9 Word analysis
- Debate: From the Hebrew רִיב (riv), meaning "to strive, contend, quarrel, plead a cause." Here, it signifies to argue or discuss a case directly. It implies engaging in dialogue and reasoning rather than immediate public accusation or litigation.
- thy cause: From רִיבְךָ (riv'kha), meaning "your quarrel," "your dispute," or "your lawsuit." It refers to the specific contention or complaint one has against another.
- with thy neighbour himself: Hebrew רֵעֲךָ (re'akha), "your friend, companion, associate, neighbor." This emphasizes direct, one-on-one communication, making it personal and private. It specifically excludes external parties or public venues in the initial stages.
- and discover not: From the Hebrew תְגַלּ (tegal), related to the root גָּלָה (galah), meaning "to uncover, reveal, disclose." The negative imperative strongly forbids revelation.
- a secret: From the Hebrew סוֹד (sod), meaning "counsel, assembly, intimate discussion, secret." In this context, it refers to confidential information, private discussions, or anything shared in confidence that should not be publicly divulged.
- to another: This highlights the danger of bringing in outside parties who have no direct stake in the initial dispute. It speaks to maintaining confidentiality and preventing the spread of rumors or damaging information.
Words-group by words-group analysis:
- Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself: This phrase promotes personal accountability and direct reconciliation. It champions courageous but private confrontation over passive avoidance or aggressive public accusation. This keeps the dispute contained and focused on resolution between the primary parties.
- and discover not a secret to another: This warns against breaching trust or using private information gained in the dispute, or general private knowledge about the neighbor, to publicly shame them. It highlights the value of discretion, guarding others' reputations, and maintaining integrity even when in conflict. The secret could be about the neighbor's character, vulnerabilities, or the details of the dispute itself.
Proverbs 25 9 Bonus section
This proverb, though brief, reveals a profound aspect of God's wisdom regarding community and relationships. It suggests that genuine love for one's neighbor includes a commitment to preserving their dignity and reputation, even amidst conflict. The 'secret' here might encompass any sensitive information that could be misused, extending beyond just the dispute itself to personal vulnerabilities or past failures. By encouraging private resolution and discretion, the proverb champions mercy over judgment, reconciliation over retribution, and quiet humility over self-righteous exposure. This wisdom underpins later New Testament teachings on forgiveness, reconciliation, and building one another up, demonstrating a continuity of divine principles.
Proverbs 25 9 Commentary
Proverbs 25:9 provides timeless wisdom for conflict resolution and relational integrity. It lays down two interconnected principles: first, engage directly and privately with the one you have a grievance against. This approach fosters genuine understanding and reconciliation, as it bypasses the detrimental effects of gossip, misunderstanding, and public spectacle. Second, do not betray confidences or disclose private matters to others, particularly if they emerge during the direct "debate" with your neighbor. This not only preserves the neighbor's reputation but also safeguards one's own integrity, preventing one from being seen as a gossiper or a betrayer of trust, which can lead to lasting shame. The counsel highlights the importance of discerning between righteous advocacy and malicious revelation, favoring peace and the quiet preservation of dignity over scandal and public shaming.
- Example 1: If a friend owes you money, confront them directly about it, not by complaining to mutual acquaintances.
- Example 2: If you have an argument with a family member, discuss it privately rather than airing out the family's internal struggles on social media or with distant relatives.
- Example 3: In a church conflict, address the issue with the specific individual or a small group according to biblical guidelines, rather than sharing sensitive details with the entire congregation or beyond.