Proverbs 21:19 kjv
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 21:19 nkjv
Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.
Proverbs 21:19 niv
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Proverbs 21:19 esv
It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
Proverbs 21:19 nlt
It's better to live alone in the desert
than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.
Proverbs 21 19 Cross References
Verse | Text | Reference |
---|---|---|
Prov 19:13 | "A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a quarrelsome wife is a constant dripping." | Constant irritation of a contentious partner. |
Prov 27:15 | "A constant dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike." | Reinforces the inescapable torment of strife. |
Prov 25:24 | "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." | Direct parallel, preferring extreme lack of privacy to conflict. |
Prov 17:1 | "Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife." | Peace in scarcity is better than luxury with discord. |
Prov 15:18 | "A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention." | Temper fuels strife; patience promotes peace. |
Prov 14:1 | "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down." | Wise behavior builds up; foolish behavior (like contention) destroys. |
Psa 120:6 | "Too long have I had my dwelling among those who hate peace." | Describes the burden of living with quarrelsome people. |
Psa 34:14 | "Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." | Divine command to actively seek and live in peace. |
Rom 12:18 | "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." | New Testament ethic of striving for peace in all relationships. |
Heb 12:14 | "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord." | Peace is vital for holy living and seeing God. |
Jas 3:17-18 | "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable... And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace..." | True wisdom produces peace and righteousness. |
Phil 2:3 | "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." | Humility counteracts contention. |
Col 3:8 | "But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk..." | Commanded to rid oneself of contentious traits. |
Col 3:12-13 | "Put on then, as God's chosen ones... compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another..." | Cultivating virtues for harmonious relationships. |
Eph 4:26-27 | "Be angry and do not sin... give no opportunity to the devil." | Manages anger constructively, avoiding bitterness. |
Eph 4:31-32 | "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away... Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving..." | Renouncing negative behaviors for positive ones. |
1 Pet 3:1-2 | "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands... without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives," | While in different context, speaks of behavior influencing others for good. |
1 Tim 2:9 | "Likewise also that women should adorn themselves... with self-control..." | Implies dignified and orderly behavior. |
Tit 3:2 | "To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, to show perfect courtesy toward all people." | A call for peaceable conduct towards everyone. |
Matt 5:9 | "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." | Highlights the divine value placed on peace. |
2 Tim 2:24 | "The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil." | Universal call for followers of God to avoid contention. |
Psa 55:6-8 | "Oh, that I had wings like a dove!... I would hurry to a shelter from the stormy wind and tempest." | A yearning for escape from turmoil, much like a desert. |
Proverbs 21 verses
Proverbs 21 19 Meaning
Proverbs 21:19 conveys a stark comparison: it is preferable to endure the extreme physical hardships and isolation of a wilderness than to live with a spouse who is consistently argumentative and ill-tempered. The verse highlights the profound dis-ease and lack of peace that an acrimonious relationship brings into one's domestic life, asserting that external deprivation is more bearable than internal, continuous strife. It underscores the high value of peace and harmony within the home for personal well-being.
Proverbs 21 19 Context
Proverbs 21, like much of the book, offers pithy wisdom statements concerning righteous living, leadership, wealth, justice, and personal conduct. Verse 19 falls within a series of proverbs that highlight the value of domestic peace and the destructive nature of contention, particularly in marital relationships (Prov 21:9, Prov 21:19, Prov 25:24, Prov 27:15). This specific verse draws on the common experience of the ancient Near East where the "desert" (מִדְבָּר - midbar) represented an uninhabitable, dangerous, and lonely place—a stark symbol of discomfort and deprivation. The wisdom literature often contrasts a universally perceived negative physical circumstance with an even worse relational/moral circumstance, thereby emphasizing the severe gravity of the latter. For the original audience, who lived in family-centric societies, the tranquility of the household was paramount for stability and prosperity, making domestic strife a particularly grievous burden. The verse speaks to the foundational importance of character in determining one's quality of life.
Proverbs 21 19 Word analysis
- It is better (טוֹב): Hebrew tov. Not merely "good" but implies a comparison of preference, an advantage. It asserts a definite ranking of desirability between two unpleasant options.
- to live (שֶׁבֶת): Hebrew shevet. Refers to dwelling, residing, settling, or sitting. It speaks to sustained presence, not just a temporary visit.
- in a desert land (בְּאֶרֶץ מִדְבָּר): Hebrew b'eretz midbar.
- b'eretz: "in a land."
- midbar: "wilderness," "desert," "steppe." This is not necessarily an empty, sandy expanse, but rather an uncultivated, inhospitable, and solitary region lacking water, resources, and often inhabited by wild animals. It signifies hardship, isolation, and an absence of comfort or community.
- than with (מֵאֵשֶׁת): Hebrew me'eshet. Literally "from a woman" or "out of a woman." In context, it denotes comparison, "rather than being with a woman..." The form implies "away from," or a choice to avoid this type of person.
- a quarrelsome (מִדְיָנִים): Hebrew midyanim. Derived from the root din (דִּין), meaning "to judge," "to contend," "to strive." Midyanim describes someone who is contentious, litigious, given to disputes, debates, or arguments, consistently instigating strife. This isn't just occasional disagreement, but a habitual inclination towards conflict.
- and fretful (וָכָעַס): Hebrew v'ka'as.
- vav: "and."
- ka'as: "vexation," "anger," "rage," "irritation," "fretfulness," "grief." This word describes an agitated emotional state, one prone to expressing displeasure, irritation, or wrath. It implies an unsettling, unsettling presence that saps peace.
Words-Group Analysis:
- "It is better to live in a desert land": This phrase paints a vivid picture of extreme isolation and physical hardship. It's a hyperbole used to emphasize the profundity of the preference. A place of deprivation, silence, and discomfort is still preferable.
- "than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman": This phrase characterizes the destructive partner. The combination of "quarrelsome" (externally contentious) and "fretful" (internally irritable, prone to outbursts) signifies a perpetually turbulent household environment. It describes a woman whose disposition fundamentally disrupts peace and makes dwelling together intolerable, draining emotional and mental energy. While the proverb names "woman," the principle universally applies to any consistently contentious and irritable individual in a close domestic relationship.
Proverbs 21 19 Bonus section
The book of Proverbs frequently personifies wisdom as a woman who builds, and folly as a woman who tears down. While this proverb doesn't explicitly mention Wisdom or Folly personified, it implicitly points to the wisdom or folly inherent in the individual's character and their choice of partner. A wise individual understands the inestimable value of peace and actively cultivates it, whereas one consumed by quarrel and fretfulness embodies folly, creating an unbearable environment. This proverb, like others in Proverbs, often serves as parental advice to a son, highlighting the critical importance of a spouse's character in determining the happiness and stability of the future household. The principle, though stated specifically concerning a "woman," transcends gender, speaking to the universal misery caused by a perpetually quarrelsome or agitated person in a close living arrangement. The repetition of similar proverbs (e.g., Prov 21:9, 25:24) emphasizes the importance of this lesson in ancient Israelite wisdom tradition.
Proverbs 21 19 Commentary
Proverbs 21:19 is a vivid and stark wisdom saying from King Solomon, revealing a profound truth about the human need for peace and harmony in the home. The "desert land" represents ultimate physical deprivation and loneliness. It is a place of hardship, thirst, and desolation. Yet, the proverb boldly declares that even such a dire external environment is preferable to the relentless strife and irritation caused by a contentious and ill-tempered partner within one's own dwelling.
This verse is not a license to abandon one's spouse, but rather a sharp, metaphorical indictment of a disruptive spirit. It underscores how deeply an individual's character—specifically the tendency to quarrel and exhibit a perpetually vexed spirit—can poison the intimate sphere of the home. Domestic peace is paramount to well-being; its absence is more debilitating than any physical discomfort. The imagery suggests that a physically hard but emotionally quiet life is far superior to a life that may be physically comfortable but perpetually plagued by contention and emotional turbulence. This wisdom exhorts individuals to cultivate virtues of patience, gentleness, self-control, and peace, recognizing their invaluable contribution to relational health.
Examples:
- A spouse who constantly picks arguments over trivial matters.
- Someone whose default emotional state is irritation or complaint.
- A partner who brings all external conflicts and anxieties into the home, making it a place of tension.