Proverbs 18:19 kjv
A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Proverbs 18:19 nkjv
A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Proverbs 18:19 niv
A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
Proverbs 18:19 esv
A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.
Proverbs 18:19 nlt
An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.
Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.
Proverbs 18 19 Cross References
| Verse | Text | Reference |
|---|---|---|
| Prov 10:12 | Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. | Love counteracts strife. |
| Prov 13:10 | Through presumption comes nothing but strife, but with those who take counsel is wisdom. | Pride fuels contention. |
| Prov 15:18 | A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. | Anger leads to strife; patience avoids it. |
| Prov 16:28 | A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. | Deception and gossip create division. |
| Prov 17:1 | Better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting with strife. | Peace is superior to conflict. |
| Prov 17:14 | The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore check a quarrel before it overflows. | Strife escalates quickly; stop it early. |
| Prov 25:9-10 | Argue your case with your neighbor himself... lest he who hears you bring shame upon you. | Handle disputes directly and discreetly. |
| Prov 26:17 | Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears. | Intervening unwisely aggravates conflict. |
| Matt 5:23-24 | If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you... go and be reconciled. | Reconciliation must precede worship. |
| Rom 12:18 | If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. | Strive for peace, recognizing it's not always easy. |
| Rom 14:19 | So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. | Prioritize actions that build peace. |
| Eph 4:26-27 | Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, nor give opportunity to the devil. | Unresolved anger opens doors to evil. |
| Col 3:13 | Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other. | Forgive grievances for unity. |
| 1 Cor 1:10 | I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree and that there be no divisions among you. | Plea for unity, against division. |
| Jas 3:16 | For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every evil practice. | Strife produces disorder and evil. |
| Jas 4:1-2 | What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not your passions that are at war within you? | Inner desires are root of external conflict. |
| Ps 133:1 | Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! | Value of unity among brethren. |
| Amos 1:11 | For three transgressions of Edom, and for four, I will not revoke the punishment, because he pursued his brother with the sword. | Unforgivable offense against a brother. |
| Gen 4:8 | Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. | Sibling offense escalating to murder. |
| Phil 2:3 | Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. | Humility prevents self-centered conflict. |
| 1 Pet 3:8 | Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. | Calls for mutual love and understanding. |
| Luke 12:51-53 | Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division... | Christ can cause division for truth. |
| Gal 5:15 | But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. | Internal conflict is self-destructive. |
| John 13:34-35 | A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. | Christian love identifies disciples. |
Proverbs 18 verses
Proverbs 18 19 Meaning
Proverbs 18:19 reveals the profound difficulty of reconciling with a brother, or close relation, who has been deeply offended. The offense creates an impassable barrier, likened to an unassailable fortified city or a castle secured with unbreakable bars, implying that the rift is more formidable and resistant to reconciliation than any physical stronghold is to conquest. It speaks to the deep psychological and relational damage caused by severe betrayal or wrongdoing within close bonds, making restoration exceedingly challenging.
Proverbs 18 19 Context
Proverbs 18 is part of the "proverbs of Solomon," a collection of wisdom sayings dealing with various aspects of life, including speech, conduct, friendship, and family. This chapter emphasizes the importance of discretion, the dangers of foolishness and isolation, and the power of the tongue. Verse 19 specifically addresses the vulnerability of close relationships to deep offense. In ancient Israelite society, family and clan bonds were paramount, making the betrayal or significant offense of a "brother" particularly devastating and difficult to overcome, often having lasting community repercussions. The imagery of cities and castles reflects the pervasive ancient military realities where fortified strongholds were the ultimate symbol of resistance.
Proverbs 18 19 Word analysis
- A brother: (אָח akh) In Hebrew, "brother" extends beyond immediate siblings to include close kinsmen, fellow Israelites, or even intimate friends. This broadens the scope of the proverb, indicating that deep offenses against any trusted relation or fellow believer create formidable barriers.
- offended: (נִפְשָׁע nipshaʿ) This word comes from the root pāšaʿ, meaning "to transgress," "rebel," or "act treacherously." It signifies a profound breach of trust, a deep-seated wrongdoing, or an act of betrayal rather than a minor slight. The passive voice ("offended" or "having transgressed") highlights the lasting wound and the state of being estranged.
- is harder to win than / stronger than: (קָשֶׁה qāsheh) Literally means "hard," "difficult," "severe," or "stubborn." It emphasizes the extreme inflexibility and resistance encountered in trying to mend the relationship. It is not just difficult, but rigid and unyielding.
- a strong city: (עִיר מִבְצָר ʿīr mibṣār) Refers to a heavily fortified city or stronghold. In the ancient world, conquering such a city was a monumental task, often requiring lengthy sieges, huge resources, and incurring immense casualties, if conquered at all. This imagery vividly portrays the overwhelming challenge of reconciliation.
- and contentions: (וּמְדֹונִים umĕdōnîm) From mādōn, meaning "strife," "discord," "quarrel," or "contention." This often arises from deep offense and can perpetuate the brokenness, symbolizing the ongoing nature of the conflict once the barrier is established.
- are like the bars: (וּמְדֹונִים כְּבָרִיחַ uvāyich is bolt or bar of wood/iron used to secure gates.) These are heavy, sturdy bolts used to secure the gates of fortresses, making them impenetrable. It symbolizes an unyielding, fixed barrier, locking away any hope of easy resolution.
- of a castle: (עַרְמֹון ʿarmôn) Refers to a citadel, fortress, or royal palace. This amplifies the image of impregnability, representing a powerful, secure structure that is designed to repel any attempt at entry.
Proverbs 18 19 Bonus section
The metaphor in Proverbs 18:19 not only speaks to the difficulty of conquering a hurt individual's heart but also suggests that the offended party, in their hurt, can themselves become an unyielding stronghold. Pride often reinforces this barrier, making forgiveness or reconciliation seem like surrender rather than healing. The proverb implicitly stresses the vital importance of preventing such deep wounds in the first place within the Christian community, and if they occur, addressing them with profound humility and urgent efforts, as taught by the Lord Jesus Christ and the Apostles, understanding that delayed reconciliation allows resentment to solidify into an impenetrable fortress.
Proverbs 18 19 Commentary
Proverbs 18:19 powerfully illustrates the catastrophic impact of deep offense on close relationships. It is not about casual disagreements but profound betrayals or serious grievances that pierce the very core of trust, particularly between those who should be most connected, like siblings. Such offenses create a wall far more formidable than any physical fortification, making reconciliation exceptionally difficult because it involves overcoming injured pride, deep-seated resentment, and emotional wounds that are slow to heal. The passage cautions against allowing offenses to fester, highlighting that once madon (strife) sets in, it entrenches itself like unbreakable castle bars. This requires not just negotiation, but a complete transformation of heart and humility from all parties involved, acknowledging that some rifts may, humanly speaking, become permanently hardened.