Colossians 3:21 kjv
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Colossians 3:21 nkjv
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Colossians 3:21 niv
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Colossians 3:21 esv
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Colossians 3:21 nlt
Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.
Colossians 3 21 Cross References
| Verse | Text | Reference |
|---|---|---|
| Eph 6:4 | Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. | Direct parallel, positive command. |
| Prov 22:6 | Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. | Holistic child-rearing. |
| Prov 13:24 | Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. | Discipline must be loving, not provoking. |
| Prov 15:1 | A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. | Gentleness in communication. |
| Prov 19:18 | Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on his destruction. | Discipline aims at hope, not destruction. |
| Prov 29:17 | Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your soul. | Benefits of proper training. |
| Prov 29:15 | The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. | Balance of discipline and instruction. |
| Deut 6:6-7 | You shall teach them diligently to your children... | Parental instruction. |
| Matt 19:14 | Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” | Valuing and not hindering children. |
| Luke 11:11-13 | If a son asks for bread from any of you who is a father, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? | Goodness of earthly fathers, compared to God. |
| 1 Cor 13:4-7 | Love is patient and kind... it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. | Foundation of Christ-like interaction. |
| Gal 5:22-23 | The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. | Qualities for parental conduct. |
| Eph 4:26-27 | Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. | Handling anger biblically. |
| Eph 4:29 | Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. | Edifying speech in family. |
| Heb 12:5-11 | God disciplines us for our good... to make us partakers of His holiness. | God's fatherly discipline, our example. |
| 2 Tim 3:16 | All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness... | Basis for wise training. |
| Rom 12:18 | If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. | Peacemaking applies to home. |
| 1 Pet 2:18 | Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect... even to the unjust. | General principle of just authority. |
| 1 Thess 2:11-12 | Like a father with his own children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God. | Paul's fatherly example. |
| 2 Cor 6:11-13 | O Corinthians, our mouth is open to you; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. | An appeal to openness and acceptance. |
| Mal 4:6 | He will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers... | Reconciliation within families. |
Colossians 3 verses
Colossians 3 21 Meaning
Colossians 3:21 instructs fathers not to provoke their children to anger, because doing so risks breaking their spirit and causing them to become discouraged or despondent. It is a divine command emphasizing a parental responsibility to exercise authority with wisdom, gentleness, and Christ-like love, rather than harshness, inconsistency, or unfairness, which could lead to bitterness and loss of hope in a child.
Colossians 3 21 Context
Colossians 3:21 is part of a larger section (3:18-4:1) known as a "household code" (Haustafel). In this part of the letter, Paul applies the theological truths established earlier (e.g., believers are raised with Christ, set on things above, put off the old self and put on the new) to practical, everyday relationships within the family and household. After addressing wives and husbands (3:18-19), Paul moves to children and fathers, and subsequently to slaves and masters.
Historically, in Greco-Roman society, fathers held significant authority known as patria potestas, which often granted them absolute power over their children, including decisions of life and death, sale into slavery, or abandonment. Paul's instruction to "not provoke" radically redefines this patriarchal authority, imbuing it with Christian love, self-control, and concern for the child's emotional well-being, directly countering the prevailing harshness and potential for tyranny of the era. This command, like others in the household codes, brings divine principles into hierarchical structures, urging restraint and righteousness for those in authority.
Colossians 3 21 Word analysis
- Fathers (οἱ πατέρες - hoi pateres): While pateres can broadly mean "parents," in this specific context within the household code, especially parallel to Ephesians 6:4 where "fathers" is distinct from "children," it refers primarily to the male heads of the household who wielded primary authority and discipline. It underscores their specific responsibility in shaping the child's development.
- do not provoke (μὴ ἐρεθίζετε - mē erethizete): A negative imperative, expressing a direct and forceful prohibition. Erethizete comes from erethizo, meaning "to stimulate, irritate, arouse to anger, exasperate." It implies a continuous, nagging, or oppressive action that goes beyond a momentary disagreement and systematically wears down the child's patience and goodwill. This suggests that a father's words, actions, or inconsistent discipline can foster deep-seated resentment.
- your children (τὰ τέκνα ὑμῶν - ta tekna hymōn): Refers to one's natural offspring, encompassing all children under parental authority regardless of age.
- to anger (πρὸς παροργισμὸν - pros parorgismon): Parorgismos signifies "indignation, wrath, bitter resentment, extreme exasperation." It is not just simple annoyance but a profound, deep-seated anger, possibly bordering on bitterness or deep frustration. The father's provocation leads the child towards this state of indignation.
- lest they become discouraged (ἵνα μὴ ἀθυμῶσιν - hina mē athymōsin): This phrase indicates the negative consequence or purpose that is to be avoided. Athymōsin (from athymeo) means "to lose heart, become disheartened, dispirited, dejected, despondent." It refers to a crushed spirit, a loss of hope, confidence, or courage. A child who is constantly provoked or treated harshly can internalize this, leading to feelings of inadequacy, a loss of initiative, or even outright despair, which hinders their spiritual and personal growth.
Words-group analysis:
- "Fathers, do not provoke your children...": This sets a counter-cultural command. Instead of wielding absolute power, fathers are enjoined to restraint, modeling Christ's patience and gentleness. The focus is on the father's conduct, as they hold the primary power dynamic in the relationship.
- "...to anger, lest they become discouraged": This phrase highlights a direct cause-and-effect relationship. Unloving or unjust treatment leads to anger, which in turn leads to deep-seated discouragement or brokenness of spirit. The divine wisdom here links emotional provocation to long-term psychological and spiritual damage. The potential for a child to "lose heart" speaks to a devastating outcome, as it can hinder their willingness to engage with authority, pursue righteousness, or even grow into mature, confident individuals.
Colossians 3 21 Bonus section
- The parallel passage in Ephesians 6:4 provides the positive command to complement the negative one here: "bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." This emphasizes that avoiding provocation is not passive, but actively involves constructive and godly parenting.
- The negative consequence "lest they become discouraged" reveals divine insight into child psychology, recognizing that repeated, unfair, or excessive pressure leads not to obedience, but to emotional burnout and a sense of futility, undermining a child's confidence and spiritual vitality.
- While addressed to "fathers," the principle applies broadly to anyone in authority over children, including mothers, guardians, teachers, and even spiritual leaders over their spiritual children. The core message is to steward authority in a way that builds up, encourages, and points toward Christ, rather than causing a person to lose heart or give up.
Colossians 3 21 Commentary
Colossians 3:21 is a crucial command within the household codes, underscoring that Christian transformation extends to the most intimate relationships. For fathers, this verse is a potent reminder that their God-given authority is to be exercised with the primary goal of nurturing, not crushing, their children's spirits. To "provoke to anger" implies actions that are unfair, overly harsh, inconsistent, demeaning, critical, demanding perfection, or showing favoritism. Such behaviors generate resentment, bitterness, and rebellion in children.
The ultimate consequence, "lest they become discouraged," points to a deeper spiritual and psychological harm. A child whose spirit is broken may cease to strive, lose hope in pleasing their parents or God, become apathetic, or develop an unhealthy view of authority. This command doesn't negate the need for discipline but defines its boundaries. Discipline must be firm yet administered in love, guided by God's Word, and aimed at restoration and instruction (as echoed in Eph 6:4 and Heb 12:5-11), not at provoking resentment or destroying spirit. Fathers are called to create an environment where children feel secure, loved, valued, and encouraged to grow in their identity in Christ.